Battle Chess

Name: Battle Chess
Year: 1990
Publisher: Data East
Developer: Beam Software
Genre: Board Game
Hours Played:
Beaten: No, I suck at chess

Battle Chess was a novelty game for computers and consoles in the late eighties/early nineties.  The concept is simple: it's just standard chess, but when you move, the pieces get up and walk around, and when you capture another piece, you get to watch the two characters fight each other.  The game is loaded with over 100 animations, as every possible paring of pieces has it's own unique battle animations, and the charm of the game comes from the different character's personalities: knights creak and lumber around the board, rooks transform into rock monsters, etc.

Although it's not widley remembered now, Battle Chess was very popular (espicially for PC) and spawned a number of sequels and spinoffs; however, unlike contemperary cult classics like Archon, there doesn't seem to be any indication of a Battle Chess remake or revival or Kickstarter (EDIT: turns out I was wrong).  That's because unfortunately, like all novelties, the novelty of Battle Chess eventually wears off.  The appeal of the game is to show off your hardware to your friends, and see how many different kill animations you can discover; once you've done that, you're left with a pretty standard chess simulation.  If you just want to play chess on your NES, you're better off sticking with Chess Master: it has a teaching mode for beginners and better AI for experts.  But if you want your friends to think you're smart while watching medieval characters kill each other, there's always Battle Chess.

Graphics & Animation: 4 (Excellent)
The animation is the showcase here, and the NES does a pretty good job of mimicking it's PC brethren.  There's over a hundred different battle animations (one for every possible combination of attacker/defender), and each piece has it's own distinct personality.

Music & Sounds: 2 (Average)
This is one case where I don't mind the lack of music during the main game, as true chess players would probably find it a little distracting.  The grunts and groans of the combatants are a nice touch, though.

Controls & Level Design: 1 (Bad)
The game controls just fine (although I wish it had a cancel button), and I can't really fault chess for a lack of level design.  My main complain here is the lack of options; compared to Chess Master, this is a pretty bare-bones representation.

Story & Presentation: 4 (Excellent)
This cartridge may have more cutscenes then any other single NES game, thanks to all the unique battles between the pieces.  The game has a style all of it's own - it's actually pretty violent for an NES game.

Length & Replayabilitiy: 1 (Bad)

Trying to find every combination of pieces will keep you entertained for a little while... but after that, you'd better really like chess.

Total: 12 (Average)