Q*Bert

Name: Q*Bert
Year: 1989
Publisher: Ultra Software
Developer: Gottlieb
Genre: Arcade, Isometric Platformer
Hours Played: Countless
Beaten: N/A

When arcade games began stealing quarters away from pinball machines in the seventies, it was only natural that pinball companies would start producing their own video games.  One such company, Gottlieb, produced dozens of popular pinball machines, but only ever managed one successful video game.  But oh, what a one-hit wonder it was.

The concept for Q*Bert began when doodles by artist Jeff Lee, involving Kustom Kulture-inspired characters moving around an M. C. Escher-inspired landscape, were discovered by programmer Warren Davis, who wanted to practice implementing gravity and physics in a video game.  The resulting prototype was discovered by executives at Gottlieb, and the results became the world's first isometric perspective video game.

Like most one-screen arcade games, the premise of Q*Bert is simple.  You hop around a pyramid built of cubes while avoiding enemies.  Every spot you land on turns that cube a different color, and when you've landed on every cube, you progress to the next level.  Teleportation disks on the sides of the pyramid serve the same purpose as the warp tunnels in Pac-Man, allowing for quick escapes from enemies.  Besides bouncing eggs and snakes, Q*Bert must also avoid enemies who walk on the "wrong" sides of the cubes (defying gravity), and catch green creatures who will undo the tiles you've turned.

Nowadays, Q*Bert is mostly known for his appearances in movies such as Wreck-It Ralph and Pixels, and this is largely because his rights are currently owned by Sony, but in his heyday the popularity of Q*Bert rivaled that of Pac-Man.  Their were toys, board games, and even a cartoon show.  While the game isn't fondly remembered as Donkey Kong or DK JR, the gameplay has held up better, still presenting an enjoyable romp today.  There's definitely better games on the NES, and the simple gameplay hardly justifies a $50 price tag, but if you've never experienced Q*Bert, it's definitely worth a moment of your time.

Graphics & Animation: 2 (Average)
While it's hardly the worst looking port of Q*Bert, the graphics of Q*Bert aren't anything to write home about.  Still, everything from the arcade is at least recognizable...

Music & Sounds: 0 (Awful)
If you're going to port a game with no music, you can at least make sure you've got the sound effects right! Maybe Q*Bert's signature "cussing" sound effect was just too hard to mimic, I dunno; but seeing as how there's plenty of NES games with digitized speech, and we're only talking about one (famous) sound effect, it seems a little lousy of them to leave it out.

Controls & Level Design: 3 (Good)
The level design in Q*Bert is simple, but classic, and as more levels progress, changing the color of the tiles becomes more complicated.  The control scheme can take a little getting used to, but they added a comprehensive set-up screen for changing the controls to your liking.

Story & Presentation: 3 (Good)
The presentation here is actually fairly impressive!  Most notable is the game's controller setup screen, which features an NES controller and a Q*Bert player to guide you through the process of configuring your controls.

Length & Replayabilitiy: 1 (Bad)
The latter levels giving you new goals gives the game a little longevity, but the truth is, Q*Bert is one of those games where you've seen everything the game has to offer after five minutes.

Total: 9 (Average)

Tetris

Name: Tetris
Year: 1989
Publisher: Nintendo
Developer: Nintendo
Genre: Abstract Puzzler
Hours Played: Countless
Beaten: N/A

Tetris for the Nintendo Entertainment System.  This has been a difficult review to write, because how do you approach it?  Do you approach it from the angle of how this was the definitive version of Tetris for many years and the version still used in professional Tetris competitions to this day?  Or do you approach it from the angle of how it doesn't hold up well compared to modern versions of Tetris, lacking both multiplayer and the ability to "hold" pieces (save them for when you need them)?

Fortunately, the rules of this blog make the answer easy: you ignore the legacy and the versions that came before and after, and focus solely on how it stands up as an NES title.  And the answer is: it holds up very well.  When Tetris was released for the Nintendo, their was nothing else like it, and none of the endless wave of imitators that followed could ever hold a candle to the original.

Moreso then even Super Mario Bros, I have trouble believing their is anyone who would come across this review who's never played a round of Tetris, so I'll keep the synopsis brief: tetrominos fall from the top of the screen, and you arrange them to fill up the well with as few empty spaces as possible.  When a horizontal line is full, it dissapears; if the pieces reach the top, the game ends.  The Nintendo version has two modes: Mode A, which is classic Tetris, and Mode B, in which reaching a certain score ends the game (and plays a little cutscene).

Tetris' biggest selling point is it's accessibility.  It's the one game that attracted sisters and mom who didn't play video games, and is the grandfather of the non-gamer games on mobile devices everywhere today.  It has an important place in gaming history, and the Nintendo version has an important place in Tetris history.

Graphics & Animation: 2 (Average)
The graphics in Tetris do the job, although they aren't anything spectacular.  The palette changes every time you clear a level, which is a nice effect.

Music & Sounds: 1 (Bad)
The Game Boy version of Tetris, released the same year as this one, was the first Tetris to use Korobeiniki, a Russian folk song more famously known in America as "the Tetris theme song".  For the NES version, Nintendo uses as the main theme The Dance of the Sugar-Plumb Fairy, which is a song most Americans associate with Christmastime.  Not only is the lack of the classic iconic Tetris tune dissapointing, but using Christmas music as the theme is... baffling?

Controls & Level Design: 4 (Excellent)
Nintendo is known for games with great control, and they put out (for the time) the definitive version of the game.  Being able to slide over after it's already touched ground has become an integral part of  any serious Tetris player's strategy.

Story & Presentation: 3 (Good)
NES Tetris has a very nice presentation.  The background is made of Tetris pieces, and (as was common in early versions of the game) there is a strong Russian theme present.  Little cutscenes play out when you get to a certain score, which is a nice little extra.

Length & Replayabilitiy: 4 (Excellent)
With so many puzzle and board games on the NES, it's easy to feel ripped off that you're only doing one thing over and over, as opposed to the variety found in games like Super Mario Bros.  And I've certainly complained about high score-centric games on a system that can't save your high score.  But something about the addictive nature of Tetris keeps people coming back and back again, and the NES version has just the right slow steady pace of speeding up to always make you feel like you could have done just a little bit better...

Total: 14 (Good)

Sesame Street: A-B-C

Name: Sesame Street: A-B-C
Year: 1989
Publisher: Hi-Tech Expressions
Developer: Zippo Games
Genre: Educational
Hours Played: Countless
Beaten: N/A

In 1989, Hi-Tech took a quarto of previously released Sesame Street computer games and ported them as two-packs for the NES; Sesame Street 1-2-3, which includes Astro Grover (counting game) and Ernie's Magic Shapes (shapes & color game), and Sesame Street A-B-C, which includes Letter-Go-Round (ABC's) and Ernie's Big Splash (um... spatial reasoning?).  They later released all four games on a single cartridge, but as per our rule on multi-carts, we won't be covering that here.

Now, I'm not afraid to give an educational game a good score, but Sesame Street A-B-C sadly just isn't all that educational.  Letter-Go-Round is meant to teach letters, but it does this by either matching letters (matching captial A to captial A teaches matching skills, sure, but not letter recognition) or by having you spell words.  The problem with the world spelling portion of the game is, you're meant to fill in the blanks by picking from the letters they give you... Only they often give you more then one letter that fits (for example, _AR, with the choices C, F, T, and X).  Not only is their no indication of what letter you're suppose to pick, but spelling a perfectly valid (but incorrect) word gives you the same response as picking a ludicrously wrong choice (like the X).

The other game, Ernie's Big Splash, scores slightly better in that you can at least have fun with it.  The basic premises is the same as Pipe Dreams or Loopz - you have to put down tiles to guide Rubber Duckie to Ernie's bathtub.  There's no time limit or limit on which tiles you can use, so it's no stress, and cute little animations play as Rubber Duckie makes his trek.  It's charming, but I'm not exactly sure what children are suppose to be learning from it... basic reasoning skills, I suppose.

I feel bad being so hard on this game... I loved Sesame Street growing up, and my kids love it now.  But for an educational game to get a good score, it needs to be good at either the educational part, or the game part; preferably both.  This game does neither.


Graphics & Animation: 3 (Good)
The graphics are the high point here... There's plenty of Sesame Street characters packed in (excluding Elmo, who wasn't popular yet), and they're all big and colorful and easily recognizable. The carnival scene in Letter-Go-Round is surprisingly atmospheric.  During Ernie's Big Splash, each tile has a different animation as Rubber Duckie makes his way to the bathtub, and it encourages you to try each tile, just to see what they all do.

Music & Sounds: 2 (Average)
There's four Sesame Street games for the NES, and this is the only one to feature the Sesame Street theme song... complete with a little sing-a-long!  Other then that there's not a lot of music to be had.

Controls & Level Design: 1 (Bad)
The controls are fine, there's just not a lot to do., and the level design is almost non existent.  One game is a still screen with a spinning Ferris wheel, and the other game is a static screen where you place tiles.

Story & Presentation: 2 (Average)
There's definitely some love put into the presentation... the title screen has a cool little sing-a-long, and the moving background changes depending on which game the cursor is pointing to.  However, other things, like having to reset the NES to switch games, held this score back.

Length & Replayabilitiy: 0 (Awful)
I commend Letter-Go-Round for having so many modes, but it's hard to image spending more then a couple minutes with each.  Ernie's Big Splash might have earned a point, except all three of it's difficulty settings are basically the same thing.  For shame.

Total: 8 (Average)